I don’t wanna wait forever to get married, but I also don’t want to settle down as of right now. I want to be able to live life and enjoy myself, you know? I love him dearly, though. I’ve never been in love with anyone before. He’s the one. I just know it…
I had this heart-wrenching feeling telling me that I was in love with you and that we were meant to be together. Therefore, I had to find you and tell you I wanted you to be mine before I lost you forever.
When is she ever going to realize that I’m not a child anymore, and she needs to stop telling me what to do? I know what I need to be doing. It doesn’t mean you have to get so controlling to the point where I’m not even able to be a mature young adult, or even have my own freedom. Seriously, just calm the fuck down and stop being a bitch.
I don’t think anybody will ever understand how hard these past couple of years have been for me. It’s been two years since I’ve seen my stepdad and during that year of moving away from him, I also had to deal with my mom getting into a horrible car crash and watch her suffer from fatal injuries. I’m lucky she’s still here with me. I also saw my biological dad, for the first time in 6 years, on my 18th birthday. Everything just seems so weird. I’m not used to any of this even though its been YEARS. I just really miss my stepdad and the one place I used to call home. I miss my biological dad too. I miss being close with both of my dads. Sometimes I wish some of these things never would’ve happened between us, but I can’t change what’s already happened. I can’t change the way things are meant to be. I’m just scared of the past and the future. I want everything to go back to normal.
I feel so stupid for the way I acted last night. I don’t understand why I let myself get so depressed… It just sort of happened, and I had no control over it.
I’m so glad I had someone special to cheer me up.
I love you baby.
If I could sleep with my guinea pig without her falling off the bed, me squishing her, and/or her peeing and pooping on my bed, I TOTALLY WOULD. Ugh.
My family is Christian yet they don’t think it’s “their responsibility” to give me presents for Christmas, or even have anything to do with me for that matter. Seriously. Religion sometimes makes people worse; it make my family worse.
I’m still going to wish them a Merry Christmas and tell them I love them anyway.
Are you lost in time there, dear? I wish I could be lost with you. It’d be nice to share my own little world with someone. You haven’t seen much of my happy side yet. I’m working on getting there.
I’m watching Toddlers and Tiaras and there was a pageant here in Arkansas called “Me & My Pet” and I was like “OOH, ROCKO AND I COULD WIN THIS. OR ASLAN, OR DO YOU THINK DIXIE WOULD BE GOOD? NO WAIT! SWEETIE! WORK IT SWEETIE! WORK THOSE LUMPS THE GUINEA PIG GODS GAVE YOU.”
Last night this guy came up to me and said “I’ll be praying for you.” I told him “Uh huh, I’m sure you will be. Fuck off!”
One of the reasons why I think people would end up or why I would end up not writing in a diary is because you end up meeting someone who just changes you or you’ll have a random person who decides to come back into your life…
Random Fact About Me: About 90% of the time, I have to ask people to open bottled drinks for me because I can’t open them myself.
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I’ve obviously been sleeping like a crazy person because my neck and shoulders have been having sore spots for the last couple of days. Shit fucking hurts man.
